I was diagnosed with cancer on a Thursday, met with a surgeon Friday, was hospitalized Saturday, surgery for port Monday, and chemo upon waking up from surgery. There was absolutely no time for me to process what was happening. Not to mention having a baby only 5 weeks earlier. So when I was sick, I did what anybody would do. I put on my armor and went to battle, waging absolute war against choriocarcinoma. And by the grace of God,I won that epic battle.

Now is the aftermath.

Now is the time to say "what just happened?" Now is the time to start processing everything. To say the battle is over for me would be untrue. Yes, the physical fight is over with the exception of chemo side effects. But now starts the emotional recovery, which for any person facing such serious circumstances is quite difficult. It is something that I am actively and prayerfully facing.

At Christmas I am reminded of so many things. You know, this sort of suffering was around at the time when Christ was born. Emmanuel. God with us. Does it ever make you wonder what Jesus thought about becoming like us? Did He ever think, I don't want to go down there, there is too much suffering, and yet I will have to suffer more than anyone has ever suffered?" I would have thought "you guys work it out down there. It's way better up here."  And yet, born in the purest of forms, in the humblest of circumstances, Jesus came to be with us and save us. Thank you Jesus, for facing the suffering without fear or even a second thought. And thank you for holding my hand through both physical and emotional trials.

Christmas is such a joyous time. Yet, troubles of the world like the unspeakable recent act in Connecticut seem to complicate things. My prayer for myself and for everyone really is that no worldly circumstances can take away from the spirit of Christmas. I pray that joy shines through like that great star on an otherwise dark night. And that when we see that star...we simply and humbly follow it out of the darkness and into the light.

I am thankful for that humble reminder.

And now..... our Santa picture. Because after speaking so seriously and thoughtfully, let's laugh together, shall we?

Be thankful.